Still no memory

I am still writing here today mostly from stories told to me after I was at home and recovering. They may not be in the best of order, but what can I say. I had a small conversation with my family today who still has a hard time talking about these things with me, but they do it to help me write this blog. Most of it I have been told before today and I remember some, but a lot of it still escapes my memory. The last post I said that my first words were about losing my job. turns out that I cried like a baby when I said it. I have been corrected since my last post. My wife had left the hospital to return home to make sure that my 2 girls were ok with food and that they did not need anything. With the neighbors and friends that we have as well as the family we were ok in that regard. She was not in there when I woke up and I was very angry at her for that. When she walked into the room is when I told her that I was worried that I would not return to work. At some point on this day I was laying in the bed with a towel on my head. I looked out from under the towel and told my family “man my hair is so powerful.” I have a head that is shaved bald. I have shaved it like this since 2003. Where that quote came from I do not know. The neurologist that works at UPMC in my hometown was heading out of state for vacation which has nothing to do with this story other than the fact that he had given my wife his cell phone number and told her to call if she needed anything. He is one of the best in the business and has more qualifications than any man would ever need. I used that to my advantage, or so I thought. Where this comes into play was every time I was taken away for testing or the Dr. said something that I did not agree with I would either tell the Dr. or my wife that I was going to call Dr. M. I do recall two situations that I did say this to a Dr. The first one is when they had me sitting on a table in a freezing cold room and laid me down rather quickly with my head tilted to the side. The dizziness that I felt was something that I did not know was possible for the body to feel. I was not too happy. Wondering why in the hell they would do that to me I told them that I was calling Dr. M on them. It is pretty funny looking back on it. The other time was during the second admission when I was given a lumbar puncture. Damn did that hurt. When I said that I was calling Dr. M the Dr. looked up from what he was doing like he knew I meant business. In retrospect he was surely thinking I was crazy and my threats were not doing me any good. My daughter tells me how excited I would get when my friends would come down to see me but I have no memory of them being there ever. The only thing that I would eat while I was there was chocolate snack pack and fruit cups. I would pick the pineapple and grapes out of the fruit cup and that is it. The rest may as well have been poison to me. I apparently was very good at trying to get the nurses to allow me to home. Since my wife works on a telemetry unit and we are friends with cardiologists, neurologists and a neurosurgeon I thought that it would be ok. On more than one occasion when I was trying to get myself released I had told my wife that her and I were a team and if she did not agree with what i said she could go the hell home. I also said that to my mother when she had told me not to speak to my wife like that. Being a former airborne paratrooper in the US Army and a firefighter now i can say a few choice words. I do not speak to women that way ever. I was quite ashamed of myself when I was told that I had talked to them that way. So far this TBI ( traumatic brain injury ) was not working out well for me.  My Fall to Life was off to a rough start.

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