Be Bitter or not Be Bitter? That is the Question!

There comes a point in time when you can talk until you are blue in the face and what you say is not heard. It is this point in time that you have some decisions to make. The decisions are ones that take time to weigh and figure out your best means of approach.


These decisions can be as simple as your words falling on other ears, or as over the top as doing something about it yourself. How do you weigh out these decisions? That is the question I am trying to find the answer for now.


Most likely if you speak your voice and you are not heard, the next time you speak, you may be heard while you are speaking only to be pushed under the rug when you are finished. This is not a solution to the problem. At other times you may get that warm and fuzzy feeling that you have been heard, so you brush it under the rug yourself. This is not a solution to a problem either.


Words do not solve problems. Action solves problems. The action that is taken again involves decision making before acting upon them. Any time that you act without thinking things through, you most likely will hurt yourself the most. When you decide to take action, you must come armed with facts, and use tactful measures. I am not speaking about significant others when I am talking about talking and actions. I am talking about all other things in your life that you may feel are not right.


Some of these things you can control and others you can not. The only thing that is guaranteed is that if you do not take action you definitely can not stand by and complain when everything stays status quo. Make a choice to bring the facts and confront the issues and fight hard for the best outcome possible


Do not fight relentlessly if you have been proven wrong, but fight to the bitter end to prove that you are right while using tactics and treating people with the respect that you expect to be treated with.


This will not always be an easy road, but when it comes time to act, stand tall and stand proud because the actions that you take could change the lives of you and the people around you.


To be bitter or not tho be bitter, that is up for you to decide……..

Time is a Tickin'

Time is a Tickin’ (Photo credit: im elsewhere)


It’s All About Your Heart

Yesterday I had the typical day at work. I did all of the maintenance that was needed in the station and all of the daily work that we do on our Engines to be sure they are ready in case a fire call comes in.

Then an alarm came in that makes you feel really good about the job that you do. A 2 vehicles motor vehicle accident on a stretch of road that is very well known for severe accidents. It always makes you cringe a little bit when you hear the area of this accident because you never know what you are going to come upon when you get there. When we arrived there was one vehicle on the roadway with severe damage to it, but no one inside. That was a good thing thing this time.

The driver of that vehicle was a 19 year old girl from the Philadelphia area which is about 5 to 6 hours away. She was sitting in another vehicle that was not involved in the accident. She was talking to her father on the phone when I walked up to the car. She was visibly shaking and crying. She was scared to death but not injured other than a few abrasions from the deployment of the airbag. I asked her to get off the phone so that I could do an assessment and be sure that she wasn’t injured badly. I kneeled beside the vehicle and within a matter of 1 or 2 minutes I was able to get her to stop crying. She was now worried about the items in her vehicle because she was heading back home when the accident occurred.

I told her that it would be wise for her to go be seen at the hospital because of the damage to the vehicle and the deployment of the air bag. Then I told her that what we were going to do next was going to be the part that was not fun. The protocol is to be sure that patient’s are immobilized to prevent further injury after an accident. Once we had her in the ambulance i told her to go ahead and call her father back to let him know what was going on. She was unable to call him because her phone had died.

I got my phone out of my pocket dialed the number for her and allowed her to talk to him to assure him that things would be ok. When she was done I spoke with him to tell him about the minor injuries and the damage to the vehicle

Even though I only spent about 15 minutes with this scared young lady, I believe that being there was enough for her to know that the people tat were caring for her really cared and wanted her to feel comfortable. That is why I do the job that I do.

It is one thing to go out there and do the physical part of the job, and  another aspect of the job to show compassion for the people that we treat. I have always shown compassion for patient’s, but “My Fall to Life” has given me a new found respect for the feelings of people in a stressful situation

Thinking Like a Hummingbird


Today was kind of a neat day as it went on. I had two separate conversations with two of my neighbors that brought me back to shortly after I suffered my traumatic brain injury. 


The first conversation was about religion and the original plan of God was for man to live forever on a paradise earth.It made me think of how lucky I was to have survived my TBI. It also gave me thought of my new found faith. I have always believed in God but my injury had helped me reconnect to that faith. i have never been a church going person and that has not changed. I do not believe that you have to go to church and prove that you believe as long as you live your life with good intentions.


The second talk was with another neighbor whose sister had a head injury two nights prior and was transported to Pittsburgh for a concussion. She had the tests that she could have here and supposed to fly but due to foggy weather she was transported by ground. Once again this brought me back to my injury. I really never gave it another thought until after dinner and started to watch a show on National Geographic about hummingbirds in the Andes Mountains.

Andes near of La Paz 2

Andes near of La Paz 2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two males hummingbird are fighting. They do it...

Two males hummingbird are fighting. They do it all the time, but it is all, but impossible to catch on film.The image was taken in San Francisco (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Allow me to get to the point. There are many types of hummingbirds in the Andes Mountains. When they find the type of flower that they want to feed on they protect it ferociously. They will attack other hummingbirds to the point of death. With that being said there is one tiny little hummingbird that weighs about as much as a penny. Even though the hummingbirds protect their territory so relentlessly, they allow this tiny little hummingbird in to feed on their flowers.


By now you are probably asking what the heck is the point that I am trying to make. Stick with me here. 


Shortly after my TBI I was alot like that hummingbird that protected my territory. For lack of better words let’s call it my personal space. I would allow my family to get close to me and inside my territory. They were the little hummingbirds. Everyone else that attempted to invade my space was normally met with resistance from me. It is not that I wanted to harm anyone, it was more like I didn’t trust people to be around. The reason I didn’t trust them had no merit to it except in my mind. I was afraid of what they would think and how they would feel seeing me in the condition that I was in. So I became a big ass hummingbird.


Fortunately it faded away and I returned to human form. Just kidding. Actually I am kinda still like that hummingbird. There is only a handful of my friends that know this blog exists. I will send it out there to all of my friends on social media eventually, but right now it is only to those that I know I can trust to not judge the content that I post.

As I have stated before there a couple more topics that I have not covered yet because I need to get the courage to talk about them. They will come but only when the time is right with me. “My Fall to Life”  is not complete.






A Day on the Water

Today was a day that I had as much time as I wanted to just sit and think, but guess what I DIDN’T DO IT.


Today we spent the day on the water kayaking and fishing with my oldest daughter and some good people. We ranged from 13 years old to 42. When did I become the old guy?  My daughter and I had a friendly fishing competition. She won the first part by catching the first fish and I won the second two by catching the most and the biggest. We watched a bald eagle fly over us and land in a tree directly over us. I wish I could take my camera on the creek with me when I was out there.


We stopped at the half way point and started a small fire to cook some hot dogs and hot sausage. It was nice to just be out there and not have to worry about the things that normally go through my mind on a daily basis.

Bald eagle

There was one spot on the trip as there always is that is not too much fun. There is a certain point in the journey where we have a choice to go left or right of an island. The left side is a nice easy slow trip and the right side is a slightly faster trip where there are two crosses pinned to trees. That is where we lost the two young ladies to canoeing accident years ago. I always choose to go to the right and always ask the others to go to the left. I was the first rescuer on scene and we were unable to save them. I always take a minute or two, stop at the crosses and say a small prayer for the girls and their families.

I also ask them to forgive us that tried so long to get them out there and save their lives. I know that we did everything we could do, but I still always ask. I want them to know that I have not forgotten that day and I never will.

There are some things that I wish this TBI would have erased from my memory. Some of them are the way that I acted after my injury towards my family and friends and the others so some of the things that I have seen since I became an adult. From the Gulf War to firefighting there are alot of things that have been stored in my mind for a long time. Every now and then they peek out of storage and bring me back to that time. It is never fun and none of them are good memories but it is the life that I have chosen and I have no regrets.

The life choices that I have made in my career have given me many opportunities that others will never be able to understand. I am very proud that I have done my very best and made the most out of them. Whatever it is you do for a living or in life, do your very best as well. It will make a difference to someone even if you do’t see it.

I am going to close this post by saying that in the last week or so I have seen that this blog is working for the purpose that I intended. I have been motivated by the comments that I have received. When I first started this blog I thought that I would be lucky if this worked, and I set my goal at six to eight months to make a positive difference to someone. I think this is my third month and it has already happened. I want to thank each and every one of you that follow this blog and leave comments . You are all helping “My Fall to Life” succeed.