Tonight I just wonder

Tonight as I sit here writing this very post I catch myself just stopping and staring at the wall and wondering where will I be in 5 years?  Where will I be in 10 years? Will anything like this ever happen to me again? It is kind of weird to type about 3 words and then catch yourself listening to the ticking of a wall hanging pendulum clock while you look at absolutely nothing. It does every once in awhile make you think if you are still a little on the weird side. I know in my heart that I am not, but when this comes to my head I can’t convince myself that I am normal until it passes.

I don’t feel abnormal in a bad way so to speak, just a little off. I ask myself questions about previous conversations that I may have recently had. For example I may say “why did you say that it had nothing to do with what you were talking about?” It happens. I don’t like it and I can’t change it, but it does. i also still find once in awhile having trouble trying to find the word that I want to use in a sentence. I can see it in my mind and I can hear myself saying it, but it will not come out of my mouth. My wife is so patient. She doesn’t want to give me the word early, but she doesn’t like to see me struggle for words. I have stated this before in this blog, but I see it as important so I decided to say it again.

Sometimes I have a problem with sticking to topic. You  have seen or will see this if you follow this blog.

What truly makes a person tick? What makes us strive to become better everyday even though we are constantly being beat down and every time we get back up? My answer to that is self pride and family motivation. When I say being beat down I mean that we face a new challenge everyday some harder than others and some that seem to just be there as an unnecessary hurdle that has been put in front of us. If life was too easy we would take everything for granted and life would be boring and short.

Personally I want to be challenged as long as the challenge is not what that has an unattainable goal. Those types of goals are like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They are pretty to look at and neat to dream of, but we know it will never happen. Instead we need to focus our energy on goals that we can meet and then add another.  Each time we set that goal we can challenge ourselves just a little bit more but know in our heart that it is not too much to handle

My goal in this blog was to help people and their families. I think today that I have finally seen that goal come true in a small way. I say in a small way but small does not mean not important. Some of the most important things in life are small. I will continue this blog to the best of my ability and attempt to help more.

there is still one or two items that i would like to discuss. I will discuss them because I promised to be true in this blog. The ability to suck it up and just spit it out is taking a little more time than I want. I GIVE YOU MY PROMISE THAT IT WILL BE DONE.

Shortly “My Fall to Life” will have no chapter with empty pages

Español: Reloj de Péndulo Ansonia Clock Co. Mo...

Español: Reloj de Péndulo Ansonia Clock Co. Modelo-C.1904, SANTIAGO. Color caoba (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


One thought on “Tonight I just wonder

  1. I too have an TBI and I can relate to the things you are saying. I like your blog. Just keep writing, your honesty is refreshing. Thank you you have taught me something about what I should do in my blog. Keep writing.

    Amy Kratz


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