Many thoughts arise after the Sun sets.

This is a "thought bubble". It is an...

lately it seems to me that alot of the things that I would like to blog about come to me when I am trying to sleep getting ready for the next day. I usually just tell myself that I will wait till tomorrow and then write about them. By the time morning comes around the thoughts are a thing of the past. It is not because I choose to not want to write about them any more, it is because they just disappear into my brain or into the night never to be heard from again. Last night I tried a new but minor change. When the thoughts came to my mind I got up and just jotted down a little note to refresh me about what I was thinking about the night before. I think it may have worked this time. So here we go.

When all else fails you have to believe in yourself when it seems that others may not be. Since my injury there have been points where I have felt that others have not believed in me. I have written about them before, but this time it seems to be different in a way. I am pretty sure that people do believe that I am fully healed from what nearly killed me. I am pretty sure that people believe that I have a very good head on my shoulders still. I am pretty sure that people do believe that what I say is what I mean, FOR THE MOST PART.

Where the doubt comes in is when I hear those small little comments when people think that I can’t hear them, or the looks that I get once in awhile when I speak my mind. What I also see is that alot of people think that just because I have recovered very well from this injury that everything is perfect now when that can’t be farther from the truth.

Life after a TBI can have its weird little nuances on a person that most people don’t see. I can relate it to the behind the scenes portions of a really good movie. All you see is the really good movie, but not all of the hard work that was put into making that movie. I realize that we all face challenges in our life and I am by no means trying to downplay anyone’s thoughts or challenges, I am just here to speak about my own.

I am by no means the type of person that lives life in fear and anyone who knows me will tell you that. Sometimes my life is a little too far from the opposite of that. There is nothing that I am afraid to try when it comes to living life to the fullest. However, some of the things that bother me all the time are these simple little things that I bet most people never think of. If I have a small car crash and hit my head, if I go fishing or hunting and a small branch falls from the tree, if I slip and fall on a wet floor or ice, something normal in my job like a ceiling falling, or running into a wall while in a pitch dark room, is it going to kill me this time. I already had my freebie and the biggest injury that I think I can possibly survive did not kill me and God gave me the strength and the ability to return to normal.

There are certain things in life that we can’t explain, and this topic tends to be one of mine lately. Even though I am not afraid to live my life to the utmost, at the same time I am getting a little frustrated to have to think so much before I act. One of the things that I hear from people is “well that comes as you get older.” I do not disagree with that mentality but I also cannot give it the OK when t comes to me. I definitely see myself as a smarter person and I do know that age does provide knowledge and wisdom. I am a critical thinker in my opinion and I am easily able to see things for what they actually are and not what people want you to believe.

There comes a time when the belief that a person has in you pops into your head and you start to question that belief. There is no rhyme or reason for when this happens, but it is clearly obvious to me in most cases. So if and when you talk to someone and you ask them how things are, I strongly suggest that you be ready for the answer and have the ability to act accordingly. Trust me when I tell you that telling them that you know how they feel, or things are fine, or its gonna get better are probably the top three things that you should not say because chances are you do not know that any of those three answers are fact, you just throw it out there because it seems like the right thing to say. That could not be further from the truth.

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