Traumatic Brain Injuries Suck

I have thought about how I could write this post to afford people the best opportunity to see what goes on with a person’s mind that has had a TBI. This is my experience only, so please know that I am sure this is different from others. What I am going to attempt to do is keep this post open all day long and I am going to type into it at different times during the day whenever I feel like it. My post I make the rules.

I am going to begin this post at 0530 this morning while I was still at work. I got up and made coffee. Looked at the temperature because I know it s cold outside. It  is -6.3. Whew


Coffee (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

that is cold. Why do we have to have a digital thermometer to tell the temperature to the decimal point when we round down or up when we report to the National Weather Service anyway. OK now what. Lets do the morning chores. I could take out the trash right now but not put the dishes away yet because my co worker is still asleep like I should be. I don’t want to wake him. As I am making it to the back door with the trash I look at the steam coming out of the buildings. “There must not be any wind because it is all going straight up.” Dang it is cold out here. Time for a smoke. I am glad we turned the outside floor heaters on because there would be a lot of ice there if we didn’t. I wonder how thick it would be right now. I have to make sure we don’t wash the fire engine this morning or the roll up doors will freeze and we will be in trouble if we get a  fire. If we do get a fire, how am I going to keep the guys warm when they taking their break to have their vital signs checked. I wonder if my wife made it to work yet. She always leaves a little too early. I should call her to say hi. I don’t want to her to go 360 by looking for her phone. I wont call. I wasn’t very nice to her the day before I came to work. Actually I have been a little snappy to a lot of people lately. Actually the last month or two. I should work on that. Its too cold out there let’s go see if the coffee is done.

Coffee is done. I don’t know why I always fill my mug the whole way in the morning I always end up dumping some out. Oh well I paid for this pot I can dump the whole ting if I want but that would be dumb because then I would have to by another. (in our firehouse whoever empties the pot, buys the next one) I hope my Jeep doesn’t get cold feet and will start this morning. Wonder how cold it is now. -6.5. That is 2/10 of a degree colder. It doesn’t much matter now t’s cold. Maybe I will watch the news and take a 20 minute nap since i didn’t sleep tonight. Why are there so many useless random things in my mind right now? What’s the temperature in San Diego. I am going there in two weeks. I work during the Super Bowl, I should have wings for dinner that day. I think Denver will win, but Seattle has a pretty good defense. I hope Peyton Manning doesn’t get hurt too badly. He is a great quarterback and deserves this ring. I bet the ice in the river is thick right now. That is all for now. I am going home to take a nap after I go see the ice on the river on the way home. That would suck falling in there right now. I am home. Should I put the Jeep in the garage. Nope I don’t think it’s going to snow anymore. Recycling goes out tonight. Don’t forget to take your meds before you go into the living room or you will forget.  Good Night for awhile. How come I don’t ever remember my dreams. No seriously get some sleep. My ear is really ringing today. I will lay on that ear so the strong one is up. That would be dumb you are trying to go to sleep. Just lay down and get comfortable. Seriously this time. Good night. They put 80,000 people in there for the Super Bowl. It’s a good thing we have awesome security in this country. Sometimes too awesome, I won’t say any names but their initial are NSA. Good night.

Holy cow I actually got some sleep. I think I woke up when I heard the door, but not too sure. If it was the door they probably thought “great he’s sleeping again. Little known to them there has not been any sleep at all when we are supposed to be sleeping as humans. I wanna see the aurora borealis,, better known as the Northern Lights  sometime. We had all those little wind driven snow balls yesterday. They were pretty cool but put on Facebook way too much. My ear is really ringing a lot.  What makes your eyes feel like they are bouncing around in your head before you fall asleep. Is it all these random thoughts. I should go shovel the walk.

I am really sick of looking at these spots on my legs that my medication causes, and why do I shake every time I yawn. Is it too much to ask to have my hand stay still if I am showing someone something on my phone. Apparently it is because it never happens. I am getting a little tired of this stuff. Maybe it is all in my head and there is a  honeymoon phase that I have gone through just by surviving this injury and that phase is now over so I get frustrated now. Maybe it is just cabin fever but I doubt it because I wasn’t like this last Winter.

I am going to stop now because I don’t want this to be too long that people won’t read. I am going to keep notes for the next post. I only have 40 or so followers which is ok with me.By the way I am writing a book about this injury. It will not be set up like this obviously. I am not crazy, I have had a life changing really crazy injury. Part II to come. It is 4 pm right now.

English: A CT of the head years after a trauma...

English: A CT of the head years after a traumatic brain injury showing an empty space marked by the arrow were the damage occurred. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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