Being miserable in life is so much harder than being happy and nice. I have learned this lesson many times in life, especially since my TBI. At times it is a daily struggle to just let some things slide by without reacting quickly. I have been able to reason with myself in most situations prior to actions. Today I had one of those days that this wasnt the case. Fortunately it was in type and not with the spoken word. It took quite some time to type a paragraph after several edits and still get my point across with no doubt as to what the point was. I usually write my posts at the end of the day when I have time to look at the day and a topic pops to my head. In the last week or two I have been a bear. To my wife Ann especially. One minute I would be happy then go straight to pissed. It sucked for me but was unfair and sucked even worse for her. I am finally coming back to reality, but today I had to show the other side. I was very careful with my words, but I was border line over the top. The good thing was that I was able to choose my words so as not to seem over bearing, while at the same time showing that kindness will not be mistaken for weakness. My point is simple. If we look at our day before we retire for the night, we can easily see the happy moments usually outweigh the bad.
I totally just lost my train of thought, I will stop this until I remember what I was talking about.
Some people probably saw the title of this and just clicked right through it because this title makes no sense, or doesn’t know what it means. I am going to shed some light on the significance of this title in a short but to the point fashion. 23 a day is the number of veterans or active duty military personnel commit suicide. That is 1 every 65 minutes, every day. Speaking as a veteran and a concerned citizen, that number is not acceptable. Our military is the most dedicated and least selfish fighting force in the world. It shows in their actions, the job that they do, and no complaining for being asked to go to combat at the drop of a hat. Everybody loves a soldier when they are in combat because we feel for them being away and in a hostile environment. What do we do when they return from that hostile environment. Pretty much as a society, we forget that they were there. The tour has ended, the conflict comes to a close, and then we go about our lives and forget about this brave fighting force. Oh wait, let me take that back. We forget about them unless there is a controversial story involving a veteran or soldier. They return to criticism because they have changed, or have a different outlook. Families are lost, homeless and alone, just to name a few. That is about to change. I have recently become a member of an all volunteer organization that provides support and resources to our troops. This organization is called Warrior Pointe. The most compassionate group of people I have met in quite some time, willing to drop everything and come together for the same cause, helping veterans. Warrior Pointe is run by former or acting military only. Always looking for more veterans who love their country and care for others, I am going to post a link to this all volunteer force to be reckined with. The mission is simple, yet hard work. That #23 will be brought to zero if Warrior Pointe has anything to do with it!!! If you are veteran and would love to make a difference, I would ask you to take a look at this organization.
It is that time of year when we put on our costumes and hand out the candy to the children. Halloween. My favorite holiday of the year, but as some of you know, I have struggled with it the last year or two. That does disturb my motivation some, but cannot destroy it. The other night in the cold autumn air, Ann and I decided we were going to go to our first of many haunted houses for the year. We chose the one pretty close to our house since we got a late start. This haunted house that I am talking about is run by a local volunteer fire dept., and this was their first year. I have built and worked in haunted houses for many years. I am rather critical when I go through one, and try to think of how I would do things better. That changed on that night. As I was going through, I could see the hard work that was put into this haunt, and the motivation that each actor had to make the scares as good as possible. I was pleasantly surprised that they were able to pull it off as well as they did for their first year. My point to this post is this. Volunteer fire departments across the country are struggling with finances and man power. This Halloween if you are out for the weekend and looking for something fun to do, find a haunted house that is run by a charitable organization. I was happy to donate the cost to go through this haunt to a good cause. Find that haunt, pay your entrance fee, and have fun being scared, adn feel good that your small donation to the cause does make a difference. HAPPY HALLOWEEN. Enjoy this video below. It rocks!
Anyone that has read my writings for any length of time knows that I am pretty easy to get along with. You know that I try to reason before i speak my mind. I can not seem to reason with the things that are happening right before our very eyes. The entire world is changing and we seem to blinded by hope. Especially here on the home front. As US a US citizen, I feel disrespected, ashamed, and lied to. Why? I am glad you asked. Let me start with this. Thousands upon thousands of our service members or veterans are struggling to get by, but the VA is building million dollar lobbies for the VA hospitals. It looks good, but what good does it do? Politicians are spending 800,000 plus in “gov’t” spending on a trip to Vegas, plus $$$$$ on personal vacations. This while being a part of gov’t that is set up to overlook gov’t spending. Multiple members of DHS have suddenly retired and the AG is retiring. After giving 10000+ soldiers their pink slip, he signs a bill to allow illegal aliens to join our military. Is this starting to rub anyone the wrong way? We are all being played like a fiddle and laughed at by the rest of the world. The world dislikes America to the point of attacking us. Can you blame them? What would we think if another country decided to be the world police force. If they occupied countries and tried to change their gov’t. If they gave weapons and airstrikes to our enemies? The gov’t is turning this country in to a straight up bully while the people of the country will pay the price. We pay for the immigrants, we pay for the wars, we pay for the rebuilding of countries, and we forget about the ones who built and keep this country strong. We arm the ones who we wanted to kill a year ago, and the US citizen cannot get ammo to hunt for sport. When the weapon that has been supplied to the recent enemy is taken by the new enemy, what do you think is going to happen to that weapon and ammo? It will be used against us. I don’t even want to get started on the “fast and furious scandal,” which the data may be finally coming out to the public. Isn’t it convenient that the Attorney General is stepping down and the scandal that he covered is coming out to the public. Still feel safe with your gov’t? I have no ore faith in our leaders. The top of the chain would rather hold his coffee and salute a marine that protects this country in the same hand instead of simply moving the coffee to the other hand. If you wanna give me the “president doesn’t need to salute story,” save your breath. I know hoe the code of conduct reads, but it is a crock of shit what he has done. We now can say that the ISIS has possibly hit our land with the beheading of the female in Oklahoma. Eventually, we the people will wake up, I am ready for the things that we cannot prepare for, are you? I certainly hope so. This country is great, but the ship is sinking!!
English: US Marine Corps Senior Drill Instructor Staff Sergeant T. Warren, Platoon 1057, Bravo Company, 1st Recruit Training Battalion, stands at parade rest while waiting for the Battalion Commander aboard , . The Battalion Commander is inspecting the B CO recruits as they wrap up their final week of recruit training. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
When enough turns out to be too much, how you choose to fight the battle can be tricky. One downside to having a traumatic brain injury is that the mind can switch from zero to mach 4 in a heartbeat. I am very fortunate to be able to see this happening more often than not. That vision allows me to think before I speak or act. In the last month or so, there has been a few things that I have been faced with that has put me close to the breaking point. I am a very tolerant person, and pretty easy to get along with for the most part.However, when enough becomes enough, it is time to take action. I contracted a company to do some work at my house on the outside. They are a large company with a pretty good reputation. I don’t think that seamless gutters and soffit fascia, should take a year and a half. The actual work was done, but many problems came from them. Several calls to the company went without results. Finally after a year and a half, I took action and went bat shit crazy on the company. A representative will be here in 3 days. The second one, which is a much much bigger problem is one that I cannot give details about yet. Trust me when I say, if you want to make a person very angry, mess with their pay. To make it worse, mess with the others pay as well. Hopefully, this will be resolved very quickly and the red color in my neck will be able to fade away. Top all of that off with a few changes in your recovery state from a TBI, the perfect storm is brewing. This is when the ability to separate frustration from anger comes into play. The nice guy mentality has the tendency to fade away very quickly. I have Ann to keep me in my shoes. Hooray for that. She hates to see me get upset. When I do get to that point, the caring wife, or the drill sergeant comes out of her, whichever is needed. I am very thankful for both sides of her. She keeps me focused on reality, instead of what would make me happy for the short term. What I am slowly learning is that getting prematurely frustrated and angry is not the best way to go about solving problems. Sometimes it just feels good to let it loose, but when the euphoria subsides, the problem is still there and still needs to be solved. With her by my side, there is no mountain that I can’t climb!!
Today was one of those days where a quick decision was made to either face adversity by letting it pass, or going to battle. I try to think before I act, therefore I chose to let it slide. There are a few sentences that a TBI survivor can get very defensive over when they are brought up. Today was one of those days for me. We all know pretty much how the day is going to go for us when we roll out of bed. Today I woke up and was faced with a lot of stress, I had no idea where it came from. There was multiple things racing through my mind that just took off as soon as I opened my eyes. I could have very easily used this to my advantage when faced with adversity. When I was asked “if I was crazy” I let it slide. In a room full of other people I could have very easily made this guy feel like a moron when when I beat him down with words.( I am pretty proud of the way my mind can beat some ass when necessary.) Instead I let it go for the sake of the others in the room. My point is that when faced with adversity our decisions must be quick, clear and concise. Once that decision is made, stick to your guns and see it through to the end. That will keep you from thinking that you are crazy. Adversity can make you or break you. Look before you leap!!
Akela, the Lone Wolf (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Lone Wolf, the self proclaimed bad ass that decides it is time to separate from the pack and go it alone. From the outside looking in, and at the surface this looks like the place to be, but is it really? It has its positives. Dance to the beat of your own drum, live on your own terms, come and go as you please, no one to judge or downgrade your way of thinking, and no accountability for your actions in most cases. This seems pretty cool to be the lone wolf, until you go in the den of a lone wolf and see the truth behind the lifestyle. What can’t be seen from the outside is the pain that the wolf suffers from everyday. the worst part of it is, it is done by choice. All of this can be avoided if this wolf would just become part of the pack. All lone wolves have their strength and can get by with what they have and what they are capable of. What the lone wolf is missing is the strength in numbers. It is very easy to see that numbers gives you the upper hand. I can see like an eagle, but I have no smell. I need the other wolves to smell, so I can see. I need the other wolves to protect my back from enemies. I need the other wolves to give me a quick nip to the leg when I decide that something looks like fun, when in actuality it could be catastrophic. Humans are the same way. Being the lone wolf looks good for awhile, but eventually it bites you in the butt. Personally I like to have a pack of wolves with me to protect me, watch after me, and add to my strengths. I have a tendency to rogue once in awhile, test the waters of authority, or just go about things in my own way. That does not mean that I am going to leave my pack. They will always be there to lick my wounds when I return to the den. When you stay out there for too long the pack will move on. You will then be left in your den alone. When the end of the woods comes around, you are going to have regrets and wish that you would have done things differently. Don’t let your legend be the Lone Wolf, because if you go for the short term gratification of the lone wolf, you will pay dearly in the end.