Today I have taken some time to look back at some of the posts that I have written since I have started this blog and I find that I am not being true to myself as I said I should be in a couple posts back. There were a couple of things that I wanted to accomplish. The first thing was this blog to possibly help others simply by putting my feelings online. In addition to that there were a couple of other things that I said I wanted to accomplish and that I take nothing for granted since my TBI. I feel that I have had some success in that venture so far and hopefully more to come.
I said that there was something else that was very important to me and my wife to make happen since Nov. 2011. I have told my family and others short when it comes to that. It is not something on a personal level or anything that has to do directly with my family. It is indeed something very important to me because it is very important to my wife looking back at what happened. We had set a goal to accomplish and I have taken it for granted that now that I am recovering very well that maybe I don’t see it as important as it was shortly after the incident. That is about to change. I think that I may have someone else in my corner now that can help me through the hurdles to get this goal accomplished.
When I initially brought this up I was told that it would be very hard to see it through because of logistical challenges and red tape. Well I can carry a very big pair of scissors when it comes to red tape. I have already proved that when I put my mind to something that there is nothing that can slow me down. Logistics, I can kind of see the issue there but I also know that it is not a hurdle that can’t be overcome.
I wasn’t going to talk alot about that goal, but I feel like I owe it to at least say what it is all about. Shortly after I started to think like a human again my wife talked about how awful it was for my family and another family that she was around while I was in the ER in Pittsburgh with my status still in question. There was a family in the same ER that had lost a son and the Dr. came out to the ER and told the family with all of the other people there in the ER. I am by no means saying that this is wrong, these Dr’s do not have an easy job when it comes to this. My point is that what my wife’s idea was was this. Why could there not be a room available for families in a hospital where they can gather if they have a family member in critical condition. A family sitting in an ER that is grieving because they have a loved one in terrible condition is not a private enough place for this family. They are in that ER with people who do have emergencies, but those emergencies may as well be a broken toe compared to what some of those families are dealing with. The idea would allow room for a couple of families to be able to be in a more private setting. The room could have a couple of couches and a TV, maybe a coffee and soda machine in there. This would allow a family to truly be together and not surrounded by people who could also become uncomfortable by a grieving family. The possibility of more than 1 family being in the room together could also be helpful allowing the families to talk with each other during these times of need. This room would be called the “Comfort Room.” It could also allow for clergy to spend private time with a struggling family. It is time For “THE COMFORT ROOM” to be a real thing instead of a thought in our mind.
The final thing that I wanted to do was be able to help people on a face to face level. This could be with survivors or family members of a survivor. That goal has been very slow going. I have made a few attempts at finding a way to accomplish this which is how I learned about blogging so that is a plus. There is more work to do though. As soon as I finish posting this I am going to print off a PDF file for the BIAPA. Brain Injury Association of Pennsylvania. This PDF file is the tool I need to submit a presentation to speak at their annual conference in Lancaster PA. It is host to 350 plus attendees that range from the injured, families, physicians, psychologists and other professionals in the field. I am going to work with Miss Pauline to assist me in getting this prepared and hopefully accepted as a presenter at this conference. This should keep me busy for a couple of weeks, but stay tuned for my progress.
“My Fall to Life” is going full speed ahead.
As the time passes by and I maintain my post looking after the business across the street things are slowly becoming clearer as to how lucky I am. My friends and co workers are coming around a little now, and the ones who have never left my side are still there as they have been since day one. I have started to collect documentation from all of the Dr’s. who have treated me because of the upcoming workers comp hearing coming up. I want to have everything that I need when this day comes. I had to hire an attorney of course and this is the first time in my life that I needed one other than the closing when I purchased my home. Since I had a lot of free time on my hands I did not take this task lightly. I once again did a ton of research on possible attorney’s that would be good for my case. The ones that I had found through my research were leading me to Philadelphia, and Harrisburg areas which was too far away for me to expect them to take this case. I approached one local attorney and he didn’t want to take the case because he said it is too hard of one to prove or win. I am so glad he turned me down. I called a friend of mine that lives in Virginia. I take an annual golf trip with him and he is an attorney. I asked him if he could help me find someone in the area that would do the best job for me. He gave me a number of a friend of his in Philly and told me to call him. He said that guy would tell me who in this area would be the best for this kind of case. I was given the number for an attorney in Greensburg, PA. Thanks to my friend Mark, Attorney Q will prove himself to definitely be the best for this job. I would talk to him several times on the phone and through email to get ready for the upcoming hearings. The documentation that I have collected has already served a huge purpose for the case and for my sanity, so to speak. As I read through this documentation I again realize how lucky I am. I have lived through a very serious injury and I am hopefully going to be back to normal before long. My hearing is not getting any better and I don’t expect it to at this point. The ringing has become constant and I am almost able to forget that I hear it. If I lay on my right ear everything I hear is muffled. I can understand what is being said, but I have to concentrate to do it. The first court hearing is scheduled goes pretty much as planned. It is postponed because the insurance company says that it did not receive the records that it needed.. The next one is scheduled but it will be a month or so from now. in the mean time I continued my appointments with Dr. B the psychologist. The testing results have come back and she sits me down and goes over them with me. I was pretty happy with what I had heard. My abbreviated WAIS test score came back at and showed FSIQ as 124. Sweet I am a smart dude!!!! I told my wife all along that I thought this bump to the head had made me smarter. My working memory performances were in the 99th percentile. Complex designs were high average, task confrontation was high average, and executative function averages were at least average with some being very strong. This gave me a boost that I needed because in the next week there will be something else that comes to light that I never paid attention to because I had so much to worry about besides the obvious. I will start the next post off with that. In the conversations with Dr. B I told her that my goal in life at this point was to come back to work twice as good as I was before. She said that I had had a very good goal in mind but I should allow myself time to get there. I knew that there would be guys that i work with that would always wonder if I would ever be able to do my job again. The only way that I could prove that I could was to come back better, stronger, and smarter. There was nothing that was going to stop me.
Its about this time that my wife decide that it would be a good time to hide my medications from me because I had taken the wrong ones at the wrong times once or twice. She did the right thing, but at that time it made me see red. Coupled with that and a small disagreement about something else in this stressful time led to me picking up a down pillow from my couch and slamming it to the floor as hard as I possibly could. this is the first time in my marriage that my wife had felt threatened by me. As soon as that pillow hit the floor I knew that I had over reacted and I wished I could crawl under the rug.My Fall to Life was still looking up but the road was still bumpy.